since the holidays started its been a hella meet-ups and trainings and all.
never did occur to me till the casual remark came up quite a few times-
" busy girl.." all.
figured i really did commit myself to many things.
but it isn't a bad thing that i hold friendships and responsibilities in great stride.
i guess its just that everybody needs their own breathing space.

my sis and i had a conversation and we figured we really couldnt take clingy or over-posessive people. To the point that it will drive us to keep a distance, somehow.

i guess the last straw came recently.
i felt my cell was in control of my life, ironic as it sounds.
that to me was quite worrying, & i felt really lousy.
i make it a point not to ignore msgs cos i know it can get disrespectful if i do.
but i felt like a slave to the master of technology.

then i concluded that its time to take control.
its time to have time for my family, for myself, for the simplest things.
no its not that im oh-so-famous-and-busy.
its just that im too fun-loving and i find it hard to what most call, "pang-seh".
im tired, of being tired.
the only time im home is to sleep.
i shouldnt be treating my home like a house, a hotel.

i just wanna spend time, whole-heartedly with my family or with whoever im with that day.
its not the idea of not spending time with people.
its about not being distracted whilst being with someone or doing something.
it sucks to have something ringing at the back of your mind in the midst of a good laugh or something.

okay i know this entry might not be making any sense or anything but.
i dont know.

maybe its just, emoism.
hahahah.
okay maybe not.

i wish bestie was back in singapore.
i really wanna talk to her.
its okay, i hope shes having a good holidayy, four more days!

ahh okay.
stop all deliberation.

till then.